Milk!

A true story written about Milk to Milk.

Dear Milk-chan,

I'm tired of your 'crank letters'. Next time if I catch you polluting my sacred electron mail-box, I'm sending a big, hairy, uneducated guy named Harb over to your personal address with a box of exploding cigars and a player piano the bitch won on 'The Wheel of Fortune' 8 years ago. Speaking of the bitch:

I used to know this dog of a girl who reminded me a lot of the flower girl that participated in my uncle's wedding last week.

Not the one on the left, you silly boy, the one in the middle.

I invited her over to my house after the wedding for a McDonalds Shamrock Shake and she went into seizmic writhing motions right there in my living room. I passed out and when I awoke I found myself with one dollars bills rolled into a tube and shoved into every available orphice in my body. Needless to say I was tied up with at least a case of Saran Wrap. I asked her what happened and she insisted that I brought it on myself after mopping the kitchen floor with my ass. I noticed the skid marks on the floor and knew she wasn't lying. Actually,I'm not talking about this girl but another girl who reminded me a lot of this girl. I don't remember much but there were no marks on the kitchen floor this time but a lot of rolled one dollar bills which is beyond me because I lived in Cambodia at that time and one dollar bills were rather hard to come by. If you see any money laying on the street, it's mine. Send it to me.

      Love,

      Chubsy Wubsy