Little Ricky

How Cute. He kills and likes the police.

One more than fine day, little Ricky Valentine was watching TV when a loud knock came at his door. He immediately disguised his voice as a woman, and made a few 'grunting' noises. He heard no response from the door. "Who is it?", he yelled. Still no reply. He decided to go out the back door and creep along to the other side of the house to see who it was. He had brought along a rather large kitchen knife just in case he met into trouble. The knife Ricky was holding made him feel big and strong; quite powerful. He pulled back the top of his upper lip, exposing his foam cover teeth. He was snarling like a mad dog and kicking up dirt behind him. For all intents and purposes, little Ricky had become a mad dog with a big knife in his hand. As he crept around the corner to the front of his house, he shivered in anticipation of the blood bath he was about to see. His fingernails and toenails grew to twice their maximum length and he even grew a little hair on the back of his neck. This is when the blood was pumping through his body like a waterfall and his heart pounding with hope. Thoughts of Elvis ran through his head like a herd of wild park-buffalo. He was about ready to attack. He siezed the moment and jumped with all his might to land directly in front of the front porch. His heart dropped to his feet and the hair on his neck receded. Who it was, at the front door, was no one other than little Billy Parkinson from down the street. He just came over to play with little Ricky.

      Ricky: Hey, Bill! Ya 'bout scared the fuck out of me! Waydjnt ya answer me when I calls ya?

      Billy: Well Rick, I can't hear so well, 'n' plus yaIyall thought it was a woman in them there house there.

      Ricky:Why don't you come in and join me for a *hic* beer!?

      Billy: That's greeeat! Why kind do you have?

      Rick: Well, what's you favorite kind of beer, Bill?

      Billy: Heinekin of course....

      Rick: This can't go on any longer. I have to tell you how I feel about you, Bill.

      Billy: Yes, Rick......

      Rick: I know the spine bone is connected to the skull bone, but I really can't figure out why the sky is black today...

      Billy: Well, that's sure interesting, please go on.

      Rick: O.K., I will! And I'll tell you another thing, buster! You got about 23 seconds to git off my porch, or else I'm callin the kopps!!!

      Billy: That's fine, I'vy been in jail before. They know me down there.

      Rick: Oh, blow it out your ass............

Little Ricky pulls the large knife out of his back pocket and proceed to cut little Billy into fine shreds. There's no more Billy, and now, there's no more Ricky because the kops are on their way....