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Dick 2000
Turbo charged TV programming
She can participate. He can participate. We all can participate. In the ultimate party game from France. art and technology fused together to make a game the whole world can participate in.
彼?翌ﾍ参加できる?B 彼は参加できる?B 皆は参加できる?B フランス?ｻの?ﾅ?ｂﾈパ?[ティゲ?[ム?B 美?pの技?pを使った?｢界中の?l?Xが参加できるゲ?[ム?B
The power - I know it's there.
It's here. The final hour. It shrouds my face with a sullen light. Input. No output. It surrounds me wih oh so many lies. Lies of the forgotton past and lies yet released. That's why ya better get on over to MacDonalds and let them create a burger for you.
Welcome to Dick 2000.
The only TV show that promises you satisfaction with minimal pain. If you find yourself dissatified after today's show, feel free to call in to the number now showing on your screen.
Our first guest is singer and songwriter Lionel Richie. Lionel is famous for several top 40 hits such as "say you, say me" and "rockin' bubby-cuts". We have taken the liberty of locking Lionel in the broom closet but not before setting up our secret spy cameras and microphones. Let's take a look :
Interviewer: How'ya doin' in there broom closet, Lionel?
Lionel: Fine, Dick. It smells of cleansers in here, but other than that I'm fine, Dick.
I: Let's jump into this interview right away. We've got a special suprise for you later in the show. Lionel, I know you have over a hundered top 40 smash hits to your name but recently the lyrics have gotten rather strange.... abstract and downright silly. Lionel, are you on drugs or something?
L: Well Dick, I wouldn't really call crack PCP a drug. I've really turned into a passive over the last few years. My scruples have vanished and I've invented a new new breed of crazy love songs. I used to get off on the blood and violence aspect of love, if you know what I mean, Dick. But not any more. I can feel myself dying and I know what I have to do before I go.
I: I have no idea what you're talking about and I think your lying about your potential death. We sent a team of invetigative reprters to have a little talk with your doctor. He said you a fit as a fiddle and we could probably expect another 30 years of your beautiful music. Why do you feel you have to lie, Lionel.
L: I have the political power to bend reality with my mind. I say it and people believe it. My new religion proves it. There are actually people stupid enough to come to my broken down church just to hear the latest Lionel Ritchie hits. I make up a song on the fly and they fall for it... it gets airplay all across the world. My latest song "Huppity Huppity" is a perfect example.
I: Yes. I've heard that song and I must admit, it's a very weak and dumb song but they play it every ten minutes on about every radio station... when they aren't playing your other songs, that is. Lionel, in your latest hit, there is the line "My raccoon's got the longest eylashes I've ever seen and I'm feeling less that -3. Come out of that volcano baby and show me what ya' got. I'm a trumpeter in the world's greatest show and I've got rather long eyelashes myself." Can you give us a quick explanation of that particular verse?
L: Yes, Dick. I used to eat a lot of pop rocks when I was a kid. They were what was "in" at the time. There was this guy at my shcool who ate about a case of the stuff and washed it down with a quart of gasoline. He died and his parents sued the pop rock company. I wanted to say something about the gasoline, but I was there and I was just as much to blame as him. Of course, he died and I lived to be able to tell the story. I was forced to lie on public televison in front of millions. We wound up taking up a class action law suit with the pop rock company. We won. Come to think of it, that was my first time ever to lie on public television.
I: I see. Does that little incident have anything with the fact that you are also the president of several large oil companies?
L: Actually Dick, yes. The company that supplied the gasoline to my little buddy somehow found out that their product was also involved in the accident and tryed to "pay me off" , so to speak, to keep my little mouth shut. They offered me a large sum of money. I refused but demande that they make me the vice-president of their oil company. They thought about it and eventually said yes. The president of the oil company died 3 months later and I took over his position. I also became the president of the pop rock company in the same fasion. They had a shitty health insurance plan so I cashed in the entire company for a measly 300,000 dollars. The only bad thing was that there was about 450 cases of pop rocks left in storage. I gave most of them away but probably ate most of what was left. I made sure to stay clear of the gasoline that time!
I: Ha ha ha.
Audience: Ha ha ha.
I: Well, Lionel, that's all the time we have for you today. I would like to ask you one favor befor we go. Look down. What do you see?
L: I'm standing on a big sheet of clear plastic. What's this for?
I: So none of your blood drips on the floor. Bye, Lionel.
L: help! glurb! glurb!
Audience: Ha ha ha.
I: Well thanks for tuning in, folks. Come back next week for another action packed show. The call in number will be shown again at the end of the show. Goo night.
Audience: clap clap clap.
