DESINEX.txt

What happens when you mix lard and koalas

Dripping lard off a big huge hiney that longs to be schlonged and when the doo comes out it forms nicely on the leaves of that tree you've been keeeping your eye on for the last, say... 12,000 or 56,777 years. Oh yea, it feels great to be in love but the only person that I am truly in love with is myself. Why is that so?? There is one good reason : because well, quite frankly, if you don't know yourself, you can't love yourself. And another thing : if you keep on shimmying around in my schlort I'm gonna pound your palpation 34 times or more. Sometimes it's a good thing and some times it's a good thing and sometimes you just want it to die and just go away and when your brain finnally slithers out of the trash can like a rat in snakes clothing. Did you hear that? That humming noise? Gerold, the lights are growing dim now its been nice knowing you ... gasp!....gasp!.....chog,chog,chog,...ppppppppppppphhhhhhffft!! Ping! Yur ded! Boofer is what I am. Boffery, boofery, the trucks parked out on my moothery. "What kind of silly thing is that?", you may ask to yourself. Well, I will tell the story to you: you see, a long, long time ago in a place that isn't all that far from here, there lived a terrible sap of a man named Withington Twit. With was what all of his friends called him. Anyways, With was walking by way of the Narita airport when all of a sudden he notices that little koala bear that flys around on the back of Quantas airplanes, or was that PanAm? Anyway, he asks himself why the little bear doesnt fall off the airplane because after all the plane is exceeding the speed of sound and is flying at an altitude of 89,000 feet or so and besides, it is flying right over East Berlin right now and , wouldn't ya know it, the little bear fell off the plane right into the hand of evil commy spies that had been lurking around the outskirts in East Berlin. They had been drinking a lot of beer and conversing with undersized cocaine smugglers whose pants fit them like the pants mummy bought him right after the cows came home. So there's a sudden flaskback to that little tavern where a conversation was now taking place beetween the little Koala and With. With wanted just to know why the little bear didn't fall off of that airplaine without getting hurt and all of a sudden all these other weird thing started going on. And what are you laughing at you Lassie lookin mutha fuckin' chihuahua bitch! Wait! Hold everything! There's been a slight change of plans. Were not going to show you any more scenes with With talking to the little bear so in it's place were gonna show you this: A shaply youg girl with vaseline spread all over her body and wraped with saran wrap! Hey! Who put that on there! It's not bad though. It kind of turned me on a little. Look, here comes my erection now. Grag Brady repeats the one phrase of that one song that goes "good night everybody" and he just goes right ahead and blurts it out just as Mr. G. Brady (tm) glares right at your boner and chops it off with one of the heavy cleavers that Beavers Cleaver's mom told Wally to give the Cleaver's cleaver to Sam the butcher so then Alice can sweet talk Sam and tempt him with sex just to attempt to lift the cleaver from the butcher's shop just to be able to give it to Greg Brady to perform the daring and bold act (of cutting of another's penis)(that is!)NNNNNNNNNNeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxtttttttttttttt!! A star is porn, a star is porn. Oh look theres nothing good on that channel. Now were getting back to that one part where we are showing you scenes and they just keep rudely interupting with messages LIKE THIS zap! Hi I'm a message and I'm here to tell you to be careful of other messages trying to imitate us because we are the real and true realy the gosh darndest truth... Don't look now but I've got another boner. That makes the 4,566th time today. No problem though because ever since G. Brady chopped it off, every time I get an erection nothing happens so nobody can see it, including G. Brady. Because if he did see it I'm sure he would chop it off anyway. Anyway, you can see the infinite regression or did I say depression!?? Hark, the herald angels bARKED! Who really likes Xmas (and I mean Xmas) carols anyway? They are cutesypootsie little dainty songs that you can't dance to and you definately might say that they have no beat. Anyway, why do people like them so? Is it because... ZZZAAAppp! Another message breaking through!!! With and the little koala are talking again in the tavern... What were we supposed to do? We knew we couldn't show you that scene so instead, in its place, were going to show you this : The fresh prince of Bell Aire starring DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince singing about problems with parents and other things I can't relate to. T21. Now that's some music I can relate to. Especially right now if ya know what I mean. And now it's time to blast off into the astral plane. Venture backward in time until I come upon a sweet, sweet vision. I peer down and upon closer inspection I see... With talking to the little bear! No Way! Not again! Hey message zapper! Come and zap this With guy and that sickiningly sweet koala bear (makes me sick). ZAAAp! This is message-man (super hero) I'm giving you a new message right now : With and the little bear talking... Oh my god! It's much, much more powerfull that we thought. What can we do? I think... it's stuck in there forever. It's true! I already got a headache from With and the little koala, With and the little koala... etc.