Chotto Matte

What it means to be debunged

While the XOME information is being prepared, why don't you gander at this piece of a short-short story from the book of XOME's short-short stories (c) 1990 Chotto Old Productions.

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What it means to be debunged:

Have you ever got that feeling that something awful was chasing you as you waddle off to the supermarket or your favorite video store? Do you know what it's like to have your car keys drop down a 1,000ft deep sewer? Some rodents might run over and get those keys and try to look for your car. The way that they would do this is by pressing the little alarm button attached to the keys until a car beeped nearby.

Do you know what it's like to feel really blue? I guess blue could be an emotional state. What I am talking about is the actual color blue and how it relates to how you really feel. Have you ever been mellow? I am going to describe to you right now what it's like to be mellow:

First, you must strap on a holster with a pistol in the proper place. Then you must find someone named Rock that didn't know how to dance really. You then must remove the pistol from the holstering device, namely, the holster. You must cock your bullets, whatever that means, and aim at Rock's feet and fire the unholstered pistol. If your bullets were cocked correctly (?) then Rock will start to dance. You then must yell, "C'mon Rock, you can dance better than that!!". If you get bored you can go fuck a yelling sheep. People have been known to choose that option. To truly understand this feeling and be able to comprehend all aspects of animals and their lack of respect for humans. As long as they don't chew MY cud!!

Now, and only now, will you really know how it feels to bedebunged.

I swam 100 miles and I'll swim another four. Please don't sap up my pole and don't chew MY cud!! If your bird ever gets drunk you can scotch tape it's beak shut so it wont hurt it's snout when it falls over in the morning. Those birds have been know to bite themselves, you know?!? That's the reason for the scotch tape. (by the way, if they look hungry, take the tape off so they can eat. Observe the bird very closely to make sure the bird doesn't bite itself while it's eating.

(They've been know to do that, you know?!?)

HOW TO MAKE FUN:

      1. Take one head of cabbage, call it a cabbage head if you like.

      2. Mix in four parts bees wax

      3. Slowly stir in a sweaty towel from a WWF pro wrestling match. (I prefer Hulk Hogan's perspirance!)

      4. A one pound bag of peanut M&Ms with the candy coat removed.

      5. Blast on your stereo:"Me and Mrs. Jones"

      6. Find the result of 0+23+666=?

      7. If the number above looks too complex to handle, it probably is. Try again next week.

      8. If the cake starts to rise, leave town!

      9. Click your heels 3 times and spit and you will be magically transported to LaLa land, home of Snowed Knife and the 23 dwarves

Elements of Punk Rock music:

Lack of seriousness, knowledge of FUN making, sputtered Malox capsules, perseverance to stick it out and the guts to say "cheeze", like trading hocky sports cards, belief that Wane Gretsky died on the cross for everyone's sins, wore a pud sport jack it with the number "23" branded on the back of it.

Never say "Jack it" in the airport. Example #1

      Baby Son:"Mommy, where's my jack it?!@:L"

      Mommy:"OOOh Urg Urg guuuu..."

      Sky Kops:"Kum with me son. I'm going to jack it for you so you don't have to jack it yourself."

The sky Kop gave baby Fae his little jackit and they all scurried off into the sunset.

Well, I guess that doesn't make a very good example. Let's think of another:

Example #2

      Some one:"JACK IT!"

      Sky Kops:"Kum with me sun. Now I'm going to show you what it means to be loved.....,...."

      Some one:"OOh Urg Urg guuuu...."

Now that's a good example.

Jesus was a race car driver, 23 years old. Bent down, kissed the ground and didn't touch his knees.